Colleague asked me today if the room felt maybe a bit tilted — and I spent the next few hours unable to shake the feeling, and felt dizzy some of the time. Everything looked wrong. Rationally I didn’t think so, but a part of me thought maybe the whole building was tilting and may eventually crumble. I could imagine the social media explosion of the news.

Walking across the room to the pantry was worse, because the slight uneven crunch of the carpet beneath my feet made the tiltedness seem more real.

I think I would have felt better if I rearranged the whole room to exact angles so that perspectives were minimised. But also I don’t want to not be in control of it, however unconvincingly, so I didn’t.

If this is an indicator of my brain I guess it means I’m easy to manipulate and am highly suggestible to suggestion.

Accidentally deleted my best performing ad set at work today. Manoeuvred around a FB pixel error and landed there instead. Ugh.

J thinks I should make new friends and that it’s nice and that I won’t attract new stalkers.

πŸ™„ Considering how hard some ppl used to stan her either she blur or she’s okay with it, and it doesn’t look like I should make an example of her in either scenario.

Will be driving home to vote on my birthday. I had wanted dinner with friends but since I can’t attend my own birthday dinner, I guess I’m not celebrating this year. πŸ˜”

Forgot to take my medication today, ate carbs, only registering 7.6mmol after 2 hours.

Feeling pretty good…albeit paranoid I might lose my sight again.

Neighbours

Me: I will drill a hole and make porn.

Snow (to Syaza): You think I’m inappropriate?

Syaza: You’re all inappropriate. All of you…30 year olds are inappropriate.

Moment of realisation: concerns/opinions were essentially negging to lower my confidence and make me seek approval in other ways. What enrages me is this was probably learned from some stupid book. Fuck this lah.

My best friend got married

And didn’t tell me. And if this were anyone else I would be like “are we rly still best friends?” but since it’s very her I think we are πŸ˜‚

I am 100% uncoordinated.

  • Nish: Omg you’re like a puppy still learning to walk. God put all your mana in your brains ah
  • Me: god only gave me mana for brains and boobs, and then sent me out there.

Watched Venus in Fur. Tripped walking up the stairs because didn’t have the skills to make my feet repeatedly climb the same height of steps. Bruised both legs.

HOKAY

Feeling anxious. Drew a card. “You are trapped in a pool of anxiety” πŸ˜‚πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

I just drew the last ace, but for someone else. And the ace cups again. I def shuffled. Wonder what the odds are.

Forehead tingling. Invisible cat jumped on my bed. No more midnight tarot.